Ok, since Ellie asked, I'm going to tell...(and I don't think I know who Ellie is....reveal thyself).....
Milk trucks gross me out. Do you ever see those big, aluminum refrigerated trucks going down the highway? There's MILK sloshing around in there! Just the thought is revolting....I mean, it's milk just rolling around in that truck. I don't trust that those things are cleaned out and sterilized well. What, they drain out the milk, rinse with water & maybe bleach, and put more milk back in there?
Ok, I admit that I sometimes get obsessed with strange things, but when I see these damn milk trucks I get physically ill.
Here's my solution to the milk truck problem---keep the dairy cows next to the milk processing factory. Bottle the milk right there so it's fresh and THEN ship it across the country.
What if a milk truck has an accident and the milk spills (no crying). The milk is going to curdle and rot and then the area will smell like spoiled milk. Gross.
So, that's my deal on milk trucks. Just say no.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Exposure to the Son Prevents Burning
Yes, I live in the buckle of the Bible Belt. There are two churches near my house that always have one of these cheesy Jesus messages on their outdoor signs. I don't think I could ever attend one of those churches BECAUSE of those signs. I mean, I find the sayings silly and almost sacrilegious. Whenever I see them, I just want to run the signs over.
This subject gets me riled up and I really don't feel like venting....but if you really want to push my buttons bring up the subject. Oh, the other thing that gets me is milk trucks. Yes, milk trucks. Ask me.
This subject gets me riled up and I really don't feel like venting....but if you really want to push my buttons bring up the subject. Oh, the other thing that gets me is milk trucks. Yes, milk trucks. Ask me.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Weekend part 2
Sunday...........
Like the good kid I am, I got up and went to church on Sunday. Actually, I was excited all week for church because we were doing a Blessing of the Animals. Everyone brought their cats, dogs, hermit crabs, etc. We even had a horse (but it stayed outside during the service). The news of the service generated some media attention so all three news stations were there to film. I packed up Aspasia and she did very well in the service. At the end of services, the owner of the horse brought her over and stuck her head in the doorway so the horse could be part of the blessing.
Sunday afternoon my friends and I went back to the park and I ran around. In addition to the information booth, my org was also doing a dunk tank! All in all I think they went well. The culmination of the day is the parade, which kicked off at 5. We rode on a float and threw cheap plastic beads to the masses of people gathered around 39th street. People go nuts for those damn beads....why is that??
After the parade I went home to change and then met some friends out at a club. We bar hopped but didn't drink....too tired and too hot. I was home by 10:30 and glad to be in my nice cool house.
Happy Pride!
Like the good kid I am, I got up and went to church on Sunday. Actually, I was excited all week for church because we were doing a Blessing of the Animals. Everyone brought their cats, dogs, hermit crabs, etc. We even had a horse (but it stayed outside during the service). The news of the service generated some media attention so all three news stations were there to film. I packed up Aspasia and she did very well in the service. At the end of services, the owner of the horse brought her over and stuck her head in the doorway so the horse could be part of the blessing.
Sunday afternoon my friends and I went back to the park and I ran around. In addition to the information booth, my org was also doing a dunk tank! All in all I think they went well. The culmination of the day is the parade, which kicked off at 5. We rode on a float and threw cheap plastic beads to the masses of people gathered around 39th street. People go nuts for those damn beads....why is that??
After the parade I went home to change and then met some friends out at a club. We bar hopped but didn't drink....too tired and too hot. I was home by 10:30 and glad to be in my nice cool house.
Happy Pride!
Weekend part 1
It was a busy weekend and I have the sunburn to prove it!! This was gay pride and I was in charge of pride activities for the Cimarron Alliance Foundation (of which I sit on the board of directors). Visit us at cimarronalliance.org
My friends Dwayne and Christopher came in from Fayetteville for the weekend. They arrived on Fri evening and we tottered off to a party. I decided to be "sober sister" so the boys could drink. We got home LATE and stayed up late, thus I went to sleep about 4:30am. Yeah, not good. I got up about 8 when I realized my phone kept ringing. My co-chair, Ryan, decided to call me about 10 times that morning because since he was awake he thought I should be. Men. Anyhoo....spent the rest of the day down at the park doing an information booth for Cimarron. Had dinner with friends and then crashed while my guests went out to the clubs and didn't stumble in until about 11am on Sunday. hmmmm
To be continued...............
My friends Dwayne and Christopher came in from Fayetteville for the weekend. They arrived on Fri evening and we tottered off to a party. I decided to be "sober sister" so the boys could drink. We got home LATE and stayed up late, thus I went to sleep about 4:30am. Yeah, not good. I got up about 8 when I realized my phone kept ringing. My co-chair, Ryan, decided to call me about 10 times that morning because since he was awake he thought I should be. Men. Anyhoo....spent the rest of the day down at the park doing an information booth for Cimarron. Had dinner with friends and then crashed while my guests went out to the clubs and didn't stumble in until about 11am on Sunday. hmmmm
To be continued...............
Thursday, June 22, 2006
You Might Be a United Methodist If...
You Might Be A United Methodist If~
you don't take Rolaids when your heart is strangely warmed~
you know that a circuit rider is not an electrical device~
The Upper Room is as essential to your bathroom as the toilet paper~
you felt that the NCAA penalties against SMU football were too harsh~
you've ever owned a pair of cross and flame boxer shorts~
you sit while singing "Stand up, stand up for Jesus"~
you've ever sung a gender-inclusive hymn~tithing is encouraged but widely ignored~
half the people sitting in your pew lip-sync the words to the hymns~
the word apportionment sends a chill down your spine~
you realize pluralism isn't a communicable disease~
your pastor has a hyphenated last name~names like Aldersgate, Asbury, and Epworth are vaguely familiar~
you consider the monthly potluck a sacrament~
the only church camp song you know by heart is "Kum ba yah"~
you've ever attended an Annual Conference and actually enjoyed it~
you have an unexplained yearning to visit Wesley's Chapel in London~
your church is named for a geographical location rather than for a saint~
you've never heard a sermon on Hell and don't feel you're missing out~
you realize that VBS isn't a sexually transmitted disease~
your pastor moves every four or five years and you like it that way~
there's at least one person in every church meeting who says, "But we've never done it that way before"~
your congregation's Christmas pageant includes both boy and girl wise men~
you accept the fact that the hymn "O, for a thousand tongues to sing" has almost as many stanzas as tongues~
you know that the Wesleyan Quadrilateral isn't a trick football play involving four lateral passes~
you realize that the Book of Discipline is not a guide to getting your child to behave~
you understand that an "appointment" has nothing to do with keeping a lunch date~
you think "UMW" stands for United Methodist Women rather than the United Mine Workers~
you know the difference between a "diagonal" minister and a "Diaconal" minister~
"Good morning" has the status of a liturgical greeting in the worship service~
you say "trespasses" instead of "debts" in the Lord's Prayer and have no idea why~
your annual conference spends most of its time debating resolutions that nobody reads~
you'd rather be branded with a hot iron than serve on the Nominating Committee~
you've ever sipped Welch's grape juice out of a plastic shot glass during Communion~
you're asked to donate money to a "special offering" every other Sunday~
you pore over the Conference Journal with the same intensity you would read a John Grisham novel~
you have to fight through a cadre of greeters to get into the sanctuary~
when the worship service lasts for more than one hour, the beeping of watch alarms drowns out the final hymn
you don't take Rolaids when your heart is strangely warmed~
you know that a circuit rider is not an electrical device~
The Upper Room is as essential to your bathroom as the toilet paper~
you felt that the NCAA penalties against SMU football were too harsh~
you've ever owned a pair of cross and flame boxer shorts~
you sit while singing "Stand up, stand up for Jesus"~
you've ever sung a gender-inclusive hymn~tithing is encouraged but widely ignored~
half the people sitting in your pew lip-sync the words to the hymns~
the word apportionment sends a chill down your spine~
you realize pluralism isn't a communicable disease~
your pastor has a hyphenated last name~names like Aldersgate, Asbury, and Epworth are vaguely familiar~
you consider the monthly potluck a sacrament~
the only church camp song you know by heart is "Kum ba yah"~
you've ever attended an Annual Conference and actually enjoyed it~
you have an unexplained yearning to visit Wesley's Chapel in London~
your church is named for a geographical location rather than for a saint~
you've never heard a sermon on Hell and don't feel you're missing out~
you realize that VBS isn't a sexually transmitted disease~
your pastor moves every four or five years and you like it that way~
there's at least one person in every church meeting who says, "But we've never done it that way before"~
your congregation's Christmas pageant includes both boy and girl wise men~
you accept the fact that the hymn "O, for a thousand tongues to sing" has almost as many stanzas as tongues~
you know that the Wesleyan Quadrilateral isn't a trick football play involving four lateral passes~
you realize that the Book of Discipline is not a guide to getting your child to behave~
you understand that an "appointment" has nothing to do with keeping a lunch date~
you think "UMW" stands for United Methodist Women rather than the United Mine Workers~
you know the difference between a "diagonal" minister and a "Diaconal" minister~
"Good morning" has the status of a liturgical greeting in the worship service~
you say "trespasses" instead of "debts" in the Lord's Prayer and have no idea why~
your annual conference spends most of its time debating resolutions that nobody reads~
you'd rather be branded with a hot iron than serve on the Nominating Committee~
you've ever sipped Welch's grape juice out of a plastic shot glass during Communion~
you're asked to donate money to a "special offering" every other Sunday~
you pore over the Conference Journal with the same intensity you would read a John Grisham novel~
you have to fight through a cadre of greeters to get into the sanctuary~
when the worship service lasts for more than one hour, the beeping of watch alarms drowns out the final hymn
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Not what I signed up for
It was a difficult day, to say the least, at work. NO, this is not a post ragging on my supervisor, or co-workers, or spilling great secrets. (So much has been in the news lately about potential employers going online to see what applicants have said about their current jobs & relationships & lives).
See, my title is AIDS Care Coordinator. That title doesn't tell you a whole lot...I know. But, the basis of my job is helping people access medications, a doctor, make sure they have a place to sleep, eat, blah blah blah. Case managers often are called to do a lot of different things and YES, we all know that. But, at one point today, I sat back and said to myself "this is NOT what I signed up for." I accompanied a client to an inpatient type facility and under the guise of going to smoke a cigarette, he bolted. I wasn't surprised, but still....so, three of us spent nearly 2 hours (each) looking for this dude. I was driving up and down streets, peering through alleys, gazing over vacant lots, trying to find him. It would have been unethical for us to NOT look. But jeez.....when did I become Search & Rescue? We didn't find him. I hope he calls. I tell you, if I could ground people I would. You are grounded for 2 weeks young man! Sigh.
See, my title is AIDS Care Coordinator. That title doesn't tell you a whole lot...I know. But, the basis of my job is helping people access medications, a doctor, make sure they have a place to sleep, eat, blah blah blah. Case managers often are called to do a lot of different things and YES, we all know that. But, at one point today, I sat back and said to myself "this is NOT what I signed up for." I accompanied a client to an inpatient type facility and under the guise of going to smoke a cigarette, he bolted. I wasn't surprised, but still....so, three of us spent nearly 2 hours (each) looking for this dude. I was driving up and down streets, peering through alleys, gazing over vacant lots, trying to find him. It would have been unethical for us to NOT look. But jeez.....when did I become Search & Rescue? We didn't find him. I hope he calls. I tell you, if I could ground people I would. You are grounded for 2 weeks young man! Sigh.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
That's what it's all about
As I get older, I'm (unfortunately) becoming more and more like my parents. I find that I talk to myself quite a bit and increasingly talk OUTLOUD to myself. I can be mid-way through a conversation and suddenly realize that I'm the only one in the group huddle. I'm not sure if I should be alarmed about this or not.
This morning as I was walking into work I realized I was talking outloud to myself and I had just uttered "...that's what it's all about." The instant thereafter, I started doing the Hokey Pokey!! Yes, I was standing in the parking garage elevator corridor doing the Hokey Pokey. I remember hearing a comedian or someone famous say once...maybe the Hokey Pokey is what IT'S all about. What is "it?" Who knows....and does it really matter? Maybe doing the HP is what cures the world. I was brave enough to give it a try. Nothing happened but I kind of expected delayed reaction from the universe.
This morning as I was walking into work I realized I was talking outloud to myself and I had just uttered "...that's what it's all about." The instant thereafter, I started doing the Hokey Pokey!! Yes, I was standing in the parking garage elevator corridor doing the Hokey Pokey. I remember hearing a comedian or someone famous say once...maybe the Hokey Pokey is what IT'S all about. What is "it?" Who knows....and does it really matter? Maybe doing the HP is what cures the world. I was brave enough to give it a try. Nothing happened but I kind of expected delayed reaction from the universe.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Donate to Team Chi Chi!
Relay for Life, a project of the American Cancer Society, is a wonderful cause to steer those charitable dollars. This year, my stepsister and her friends are participating in Lawton, Oklahoma's Relay for Life in memory of a very special woman, Shelly Douglass McComber.
Shelly was one of those people you couldn't help but notice. Her smile, her laugh, her southern drawal........Shelly made friends with just about everyone. When she passed in January it broke our hearts because nothing and no one can replace Shelly, aka Chi Chi. Shelly's sister, Stacy, and many of her friends have banded together to walk this year's relay in her honor. Please visit www.acsevents.org/lawtonok and look up Team Chi Chi. You can donate through the website or mail in your contribution. No one, absolutely no one, should have to go through cancer and it's only that much harder when it affects a beautiful woman who was only 35 years old. My prayers and support go out to Shelly's family and friends who seek to honor her in this walk. I especially pray for my stepsister, Beth, who has modeled strength and spirit during the loss of her very dear friend. Love to all..................................
Shelly was one of those people you couldn't help but notice. Her smile, her laugh, her southern drawal........Shelly made friends with just about everyone. When she passed in January it broke our hearts because nothing and no one can replace Shelly, aka Chi Chi. Shelly's sister, Stacy, and many of her friends have banded together to walk this year's relay in her honor. Please visit www.acsevents.org/lawtonok and look up Team Chi Chi. You can donate through the website or mail in your contribution. No one, absolutely no one, should have to go through cancer and it's only that much harder when it affects a beautiful woman who was only 35 years old. My prayers and support go out to Shelly's family and friends who seek to honor her in this walk. I especially pray for my stepsister, Beth, who has modeled strength and spirit during the loss of her very dear friend. Love to all..................................
Sunday, June 11, 2006
In this very room
This past Saturday my friend Bekah got married! Yippeeeeee. It was a LOVELY ceremony and she looked amazing. The decor was simple and I could tell that they weren't trying to overshadow the beauty of the church. My one word description is "elegant." Candlelight, dim lights, red roses, and a happy couple. What could be better? The wedding was fun because it was like a reunion of college friends, some I hadn't seen in quite some time. We had a great time visiting and catching up. Several of us went to supper and continued the chatting. I enjoy moments like that....when we can visit, laugh, and remember. Congratulations Bekah & Derek.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Presley drops
No one is going to care about this post but I'm just so ticked off I have to vent. The past three days have been the filing period for office here in Oklahoma. For the past several months there have been a couple of folks running for the 5th District Congress, which is the area I live in. I have been supporting Patricia Presley who I thought was going to really win this thing and finally put a Dem in office. The other person that is running, Bert Smith, is just not electable for reasons I won't go into. So, today, Ms. Presley freakin drops out of the race. I'm angry. Like, people spent a lot of time and money campaigning for her---she was very electable--she would have been a good Rep. And she drops. I would like my donations back. I'm serious. I put my faith and my $$ into a candidate and they drop for I don't know what reason but it wasn't a good one. I know I know...I get ruffled about strange things.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
I'm not wearing underwear today
I'm not wearing underwear today....no i'm not wearing underwear today. Not that you probably care much about my underwear, still nonetheless i have to say---that i'm not wearing underwear today!!
Ok, so it's a phrase stolen from Avenue Q (it's a musical) and every time I hear the song I crack up laughing.
Now to REAL underwear issues. My washing machine decided to putz out on me over a week ago. I have not had time to call a repair person so I have been unable to wash clothes. I tell ya, I'm getting desparate. I meant to go to the laundromat this weekend but as always, too much going on. As I try to figure out what to wear to work tomorrow, I was pawing through my sock/undies drawer and realized that I have to go to the RESERVE underwear. Come on, you know what I'm talking about....the old pairs that you hate, but you keep around for emergencies. They are too small or too big, ugly, have holes, should have been burned years ago....Yup, that's what I'm talking about. Don't pretend you don't know.
Busy busy busy week ahead but I promised myself I would do laundry. I expect little sleep on Monday but it will get done.
Ok, so it's a phrase stolen from Avenue Q (it's a musical) and every time I hear the song I crack up laughing.
Now to REAL underwear issues. My washing machine decided to putz out on me over a week ago. I have not had time to call a repair person so I have been unable to wash clothes. I tell ya, I'm getting desparate. I meant to go to the laundromat this weekend but as always, too much going on. As I try to figure out what to wear to work tomorrow, I was pawing through my sock/undies drawer and realized that I have to go to the RESERVE underwear. Come on, you know what I'm talking about....the old pairs that you hate, but you keep around for emergencies. They are too small or too big, ugly, have holes, should have been burned years ago....Yup, that's what I'm talking about. Don't pretend you don't know.
Busy busy busy week ahead but I promised myself I would do laundry. I expect little sleep on Monday but it will get done.
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Jimmy Hoffa Wuz Here
This huge search for Jimmy Hoffa has been amusing. I'm not quite sure what the fuss is all about. Now, out of respect for the dead, I do understand a family's need for closure and such. But, why are the Feds convinced that there is a body to find?? I have no experience in mob killings but I would think that whole body parts would be easy(easier) to find. Hence, make them smaller. Gross. Did anyone see the cupcakes someone was selling in the town where they were searching for Hoffa? The cupcakes had a hand coming up out of the chocolate cake. I laughed.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Calling all Catholics
Lots of beautiful, handmade rosaries for sale.....e-mail me or respond to this post. Custom designs available.
I have to sell some of these rosaries. Come on people, Jesus needs to hear ya. Give a little shout out to Mother Mary.
Instruction on how to pray the rosary is also included.
I have to sell some of these rosaries. Come on people, Jesus needs to hear ya. Give a little shout out to Mother Mary.
Instruction on how to pray the rosary is also included.
Matt Damon is hot
Does it make me sound like I'm 12 years old if I say Matt Damon is hot? I was flippin channels tonight and Saving Ryan's Privates, I mean Saving Private Ryan was on. Matt Damon is such a cutie.
So, it's Memorial Day weekend and I think I have lost several brain cells. I was trying to remember the purpose of Memorial Day. Is it a vetern thing or a any-deceased-person thing? YES, I took American History and actually got an A. I just can't recall the schlup behind this holiday.
My friend Alexis called tonight. She's having her bachelorette party the first weekend in July and wants me to come to Detroit. Oh Lordy....Her wedding is Labor Day weekend and I'm pretty sure I'm going. I also fear her wrath if I DON'T go. I'm not so sure about the b party though. I better make a lot of money on my garage sale next weekend. Between school, house repairs (damn washing machine and yard), weddings, vacation,....I'm poor.
Life...........
So, it's Memorial Day weekend and I think I have lost several brain cells. I was trying to remember the purpose of Memorial Day. Is it a vetern thing or a any-deceased-person thing? YES, I took American History and actually got an A. I just can't recall the schlup behind this holiday.
My friend Alexis called tonight. She's having her bachelorette party the first weekend in July and wants me to come to Detroit. Oh Lordy....Her wedding is Labor Day weekend and I'm pretty sure I'm going. I also fear her wrath if I DON'T go. I'm not so sure about the b party though. I better make a lot of money on my garage sale next weekend. Between school, house repairs (damn washing machine and yard), weddings, vacation,....I'm poor.
Life...........
Monday, May 22, 2006
Who inspires you?
This afternoon I was reading the InSpire magazine, the alumni/ae publication of Princeton Theological Seminary. Each issue they showcase feedback & letters to a question posed in the previous issue. So, this had many stories of who inspired and helped shape these pastors and religious leaders.
It started me thinking (scary, I know) about who my inspirations were/are. So, I pose the question to you--my readers--who has inspired you and how? Family and close friends don't count. Well, of course they count...but we all have an inner circle like that.....
My inspiration from childhood/teenage land are different than my ones from adulthood. Yes, I'll answer my own question but I need some time to think about it.
It started me thinking (scary, I know) about who my inspirations were/are. So, I pose the question to you--my readers--who has inspired you and how? Family and close friends don't count. Well, of course they count...but we all have an inner circle like that.....
My inspiration from childhood/teenage land are different than my ones from adulthood. Yes, I'll answer my own question but I need some time to think about it.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
resolutions
Is it too late to make my New Year's resolutions? Oh wait, it's May, isn't it? Damn.
Ok, well, I'm making a couple anyway. Maybe I should call them "determinations" instead of "resolutions." I am determined to start singing 30 minutes a day. My voice is just not up to par and I need the outlet that singing provides for me. I am also determined to rid my life of stupid people. No names.
I am not too happy with my Effexor right now. I don't think it's working but I've been on it for a couple of years so maybe it's lost it's oomph. My anxiety level is so freakin high that I say freakin all the time. I've always been a worrier, it's just my nature. But now, my anxiety keeps me up nights and makes my brain race and race and race. It's tiring. I feel like I'm watching the little hampster run circles in my head. Therapy, I know. :-) I think this is why I'm going to MSW school---so I can therapize myself. That's not a word, is it? I want to be a therapist so I can charge as much as mine did. I went to see someone, only gone once so far, and she charged me $105. Jeez. Didn't she see the "social worker" block filled out on my papers? Doesn't $105 seem a little high? I mean, this is OKC. You East Coast people don't get to pipe in on this discussion--you pay too much for everything.
I'm rambling aren't I? I didn't ramble before. I've only started rambling in the past year or so. It's Friendly Bunny's fault--he's ALWAYS rambling. I love him, don't get me wrong, but Bunny can ramble.
See, it's the anxiety talking. I'm wired and I haven't had any caffine since early this afternoon. No coffee. No alcohol and no drugs. Imagine what I would be like if I WERE on alcohol. Oh my.
Ok, I'll sign off because this post is pointless.
Ok, well, I'm making a couple anyway. Maybe I should call them "determinations" instead of "resolutions." I am determined to start singing 30 minutes a day. My voice is just not up to par and I need the outlet that singing provides for me. I am also determined to rid my life of stupid people. No names.
I am not too happy with my Effexor right now. I don't think it's working but I've been on it for a couple of years so maybe it's lost it's oomph. My anxiety level is so freakin high that I say freakin all the time. I've always been a worrier, it's just my nature. But now, my anxiety keeps me up nights and makes my brain race and race and race. It's tiring. I feel like I'm watching the little hampster run circles in my head. Therapy, I know. :-) I think this is why I'm going to MSW school---so I can therapize myself. That's not a word, is it? I want to be a therapist so I can charge as much as mine did. I went to see someone, only gone once so far, and she charged me $105. Jeez. Didn't she see the "social worker" block filled out on my papers? Doesn't $105 seem a little high? I mean, this is OKC. You East Coast people don't get to pipe in on this discussion--you pay too much for everything.
I'm rambling aren't I? I didn't ramble before. I've only started rambling in the past year or so. It's Friendly Bunny's fault--he's ALWAYS rambling. I love him, don't get me wrong, but Bunny can ramble.
See, it's the anxiety talking. I'm wired and I haven't had any caffine since early this afternoon. No coffee. No alcohol and no drugs. Imagine what I would be like if I WERE on alcohol. Oh my.
Ok, I'll sign off because this post is pointless.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Mother's Day
Just got home from church...being the good kid I am. :-) I find it interesting that the subject of Mom and Mother's Day didn't really come up in the service. I agree that it's basically a holiday created by Hallmark or some other corporate group, but I feel like the Mom's should have been acknowledged or something. I've been asked 3 times today if I have called my Mom. I find it amusing to watch people's reactions when I tell them I don't have a Mom anymore. They get the hint that my Mom is deceased and they just don't know how to react. I want to say, I called her but she just won't answer the phone. That would be mean, wouldn't it? I appreciate my sense of humor even if no one else does.
The client that I blogged about earlier this week....he died Saturday night about 11pm. The family called me and I met them up at the hospital. It was time to turn him over to God and we did that. Services will be in a few weeks. It will be good to remember, laugh, and gather his friends and family together one last time.
You know, I just thought of it....I am a Mom. I am Mommy to a wonderful kitty named Aspasia. It's my day after all! Happy Mother's Day to me.
The client that I blogged about earlier this week....he died Saturday night about 11pm. The family called me and I met them up at the hospital. It was time to turn him over to God and we did that. Services will be in a few weeks. It will be good to remember, laugh, and gather his friends and family together one last time.
You know, I just thought of it....I am a Mom. I am Mommy to a wonderful kitty named Aspasia. It's my day after all! Happy Mother's Day to me.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Need vs. Want
I NEED a vacation. I WANT sanity. I don't think I'm getting either one. I can't tell you how badly I need some time off/time away from work and *stuff*. Because funds are way low, I can't really go anywhere but I'm thinking of taking several days off and just being at home. I also need to have a garage sale. My anxiety level is sky rocketing and last night I developed an itching condition. Like, it felt like little bugs or something roaming all over me and I about went crazy trying to scratch. Of course, the more I scratched the more I itched. Argghhh...even now just thinking about it makes me itch. Is this what being crazy feels like? Where's the good drugs? I need Xanax.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Strange reality
I have a hard time taking compliments. Don't analyze that statement, I don't want to hear about it. I'm just stating a fact. And, it's a rare thing that I will talk about what I'm good at (of course, it's much easier to talk about what I'm BAD at). But, I'm going to talk about myself, so there!
As most of my readers (all 5 of you) know, I'm a HIV/AIDS social worker. I've been doing this a long time and was doing caregiving on a volunteer basis even before this. I know, glutton for punishment or something....
There's really no comprehensive job description for what my co-workers and I do. We just do whatever needs to be done. Sometimes, this involves silly mounds of paperwork, referrals to worthless resources, and the endless advocacy for money and medicine.
I can't fathom what it's like to be a client--to allow a case manager/social worker into my life and rely on that person for my life sustaining medications and services. When I stop to think about it, it's fairly humbling. I will freely admit that we sometimes get attached to our clients. After all, we're human. Well, I'm human, I'm not so sure about my other two co-workers.
Over the years I have lost several clients to the disease, it's just part of it all. Right now I have a very dear client ill and in the hospital. A few weeks ago he called me to come over and discuss end of life issues with him. He calmly accepts that this might be the end for him. I admire this person greatly because he has always been outspoken and comfortable with himself as a person living with AIDS. He is intelligent, funny, and loving.
Tonight I visited him in ICU and we chatted just a bit. He's still showing some hope and will to live. I don't know what will happen in the next few days and weeks and I don't dare speculate. But whatever happens, I know he will be at peace because he's at peace with himself and those around him.
Yes, these situations are difficult---for the patient and their families. Yet, I surprise myself. I realized tonight that I am good at what I do. I am calm. My voice radiates compassion and love. I know that the act of "touch" can provide comfort. I am not afraid. I realize that I draw on my inner strength as well as my spiritual foundation and use that strength to minister to my clients. Even though I left the ministry a long time ago, I am still ministering.
The transition from this life to everlasting is an amazing & beautiful journey. That may sound strange but if you have never witnessed transition then you may not understand.
I will grieve if I lose this patient. After all, I AM human. But, my comfort comes from God and yes, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I guess my prayer tonight is a simple one: God be with all those ill and in pain, God be with this client and his family, and God continue to bless me with an open heart and caring hands.
As most of my readers (all 5 of you) know, I'm a HIV/AIDS social worker. I've been doing this a long time and was doing caregiving on a volunteer basis even before this. I know, glutton for punishment or something....
There's really no comprehensive job description for what my co-workers and I do. We just do whatever needs to be done. Sometimes, this involves silly mounds of paperwork, referrals to worthless resources, and the endless advocacy for money and medicine.
I can't fathom what it's like to be a client--to allow a case manager/social worker into my life and rely on that person for my life sustaining medications and services. When I stop to think about it, it's fairly humbling. I will freely admit that we sometimes get attached to our clients. After all, we're human. Well, I'm human, I'm not so sure about my other two co-workers.
Over the years I have lost several clients to the disease, it's just part of it all. Right now I have a very dear client ill and in the hospital. A few weeks ago he called me to come over and discuss end of life issues with him. He calmly accepts that this might be the end for him. I admire this person greatly because he has always been outspoken and comfortable with himself as a person living with AIDS. He is intelligent, funny, and loving.
Tonight I visited him in ICU and we chatted just a bit. He's still showing some hope and will to live. I don't know what will happen in the next few days and weeks and I don't dare speculate. But whatever happens, I know he will be at peace because he's at peace with himself and those around him.
Yes, these situations are difficult---for the patient and their families. Yet, I surprise myself. I realized tonight that I am good at what I do. I am calm. My voice radiates compassion and love. I know that the act of "touch" can provide comfort. I am not afraid. I realize that I draw on my inner strength as well as my spiritual foundation and use that strength to minister to my clients. Even though I left the ministry a long time ago, I am still ministering.
The transition from this life to everlasting is an amazing & beautiful journey. That may sound strange but if you have never witnessed transition then you may not understand.
I will grieve if I lose this patient. After all, I AM human. But, my comfort comes from God and yes, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I guess my prayer tonight is a simple one: God be with all those ill and in pain, God be with this client and his family, and God continue to bless me with an open heart and caring hands.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Goodbye, Louis Rukeyser
I just read in the NY Times online that financial tv show host, Louis Rukeyser, died Tuesday. For many years he was the host of "Wall Street Week" on PBS. I have to admit, I'm kind of sad. You see, in my house, the tv was usually on CNN or PBS. My stepfather was a Wall Street Week junkie. The show aired on Friday night and was replayed at 12:30 on Sunday afternoon. We watched it both times. Every Sunday after church, my stepdad would go by and pick up Broasted Chicken and we would sit around the table to eat. At 12:29 the tv was on. cranked up full volume, and he was glued to the show.
As a teenager I never really got into the show. I mean, come on, they were talking stocks, bonds, and money. I didn't want to know what the dollar did that week--I just wanted to spend it!
However, the theme song to Wall Street Week is a memory stuck in my head. I remember when I was living in New Jersey, I sometimes would get a little homesick. One Sunday I turned on Wall Street Week to hear the theme and I felt better. Memories.......
Go rest high Mr. Rukeyser.
As a teenager I never really got into the show. I mean, come on, they were talking stocks, bonds, and money. I didn't want to know what the dollar did that week--I just wanted to spend it!
However, the theme song to Wall Street Week is a memory stuck in my head. I remember when I was living in New Jersey, I sometimes would get a little homesick. One Sunday I turned on Wall Street Week to hear the theme and I felt better. Memories.......
Go rest high Mr. Rukeyser.
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