regrets vs. responsibilities

I'm having a dilemma. does this purse match these shoes? just kiddin on that one. ok....so, the 2006 election cycle is gearing up and i really want to work on a campaign. not just volunteer, but work a campaign. i could be a manager or at least an assistant if i found the right race. yet, that would mean having to leave my very secure (yet very boring unfulfilling) job and taking something that would only last through November '06 and be over. plus, i would probably have to relocate for the campaign and would have to rent out my house or something. i'm very very torn because i'm afraid that if i never take a chance at running a campaign i'll regret it. yet, i can't just drop everything i have here and go running off for a year. just when did i become an adult and what happened to my carefree years???? ugh....what to do..............

My own little village

I was watching "The Village" tonight on cable. I've seen the movie a few times and in fact own it on DVD. I liked it the first several times I saw it but now I'm beginning to think that it truly is a stupid movie. I mean, at face value it's good but if you get to thinking about all the little details it just doesn't add up. Like, how can they live secluded all those years and never be seen by anyone? Where do they get all their livestock and produce? Cloth for dresses? Books for teaching? Come on people, get realistic. And WHY would the dad send his blind daughter into the woods by herself???? Why didn't he escort her at least part of the way. It just doesn't make sense to me. It's probably not supposed to make sense.......So, I got to thinking what it would be like if I formed my own little village. That sort of seclusion and isolation might be nice for a while but I'd have to have internet or something. I would make some rule that all men must bow and hail me as Princess. Children would all live together in a communal home, where they would learn conflict management, sharing, and the support of surrogate siblings. Young women will learn auto mechanics and young men will take cake decorating classes. There will be a huge wonderful vegetable garden and we will create a new species of tomatoes that have no seeds and slimy junk in them, only the red flesh. Oh, and there will be a secret patch of marijuana but only I will know it's location. Remember, this is an IMAGINARY village. Sigh. You know, I probably shouldn't create blog posts at 1:30 in the morning.

Girl Talk

I'm amused at how women can talk so freely with one another, even if they don't know the person they're talking to. This afternoon I wandered down to the hospital gift shop to buy a soda and was chatting with the clerk. I've seen her around the hospital but I don't know her or anything. We were talking about the weather because it's been freakin hot in Oklahoma lately (I think it was like 105 today) and I HATE this weather. I'm telling you--the minute I walk outside my head starts pouring sweat---it's completely nasty. But anysnooch---the gift shop clerk and I are moaning about the heat and she comments on how she hates wearing tight clothes. She motioned to the flowing dress she was wearing and said that it was loose and comfortable so she doesn't feel like she's got something clinging to her. I laughed and said that I totally understood--nothing worse than a blouse stuck to your back. Then, she said "As soon as I get home I strip down and put on my pajamas." Uh, ok. Now, was it really necessary for me to know this?? I'm all for being comfortable and wearing clothes that make you happy, but did she need to tell a complete stranger that she strips down and puts on pj's? My guess is men don't talk about this stuff. Yet, men also don't have the curse of wearing a bra and let me tell you--if they had to wear one there would be a lot more gritching going on! You want to talk comfort, then let's talk about how the best part of the day is being able to come home and free the twins. Yeah, it also helps to say "free the twins" as you remove the cursed clothing article.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. I live in a strange and wonderful world.
Peace!

To kill or not to kill

Before anyone runs out and calls the police, you should know that my blog title is about a spider.
I've been typing away on the computer for about 15 minutes and I just noticed there's a spider on the wall to my left. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I detest spiders with all of my heart and soul. To say that I have arachnaphobia is an understatement. It doesn't matter what the size of the spider is--I'm sooooo not comfortable around them. So, the spider is not moving at the moment but I can't decide if I should kill it or just let it be. Yet, what if it moves and gets closer to where I am? Or what if it's poisionous and bites me and I die? What if it breeds millions of baby spiders and they take over my house and spin giant webs and use me for a cocoon? I'm starting to freak myself out.

I'll ask the spider for forgiveness before I smash it. Sorry dude, you have to go...........

Mis-fortune

I wonder if it really means something if you get a fortune cookie that has spelling errors. Friday night my fortune said, "your life will be wonderf***" and that's it. Wonderful? Wonderfilled? Wonderfucked? The worst fortune I've ever received said "You lover Chinese food." Well duh. But wonderf***??? At least it didn't say "you will get hit by a car today." There....that's optimism!!

Reconnecting

The past two nights I have gone out to Lake Hefner and watched the sunset. It's so beautiful out there, peaceful and quiet. I sat on the ledge of the concrete barrier and watched people fish, felt the breeze off the water, and pondered existence. Sometimes I have to make myself have quiet time, away from phones and computers and people. I admit that I have a fear of quietness because I don't always want to hear what my mind has to say. But, I also recognize that when I slow down I hear God better and I so crave some spiritual uplifting in my life right now. I'm not getting it through church and it will probably be that way for a while so I have to seek it elsewhere. Not that my relationship with God is rocky right now b/c it's not but I haven't put much effort into prayer lately and I can feel that void in myself. So, I'm making a conscious effort to reconnect with myself and hear more of what my instincts tell me.

Praying for Shelly right now--melanoma related brain tumors and a rocky future ahead. Hang in there girl.

Movie review: War of the Worlds

WARNING-movie spoiler below.
Went to see War of the Worlds with Danny, Pat, John & Diana this afternoon. I have not seen the original "War" but overall I thought it was a good movie. The beginning was a little lame because I'm sorry--if some alien being/machine was coming out of the ground people would NOT be standing around in a tight circle gawking. I don't care if it's NYC and they are used to weird people and things, folks would be running for their lives. But, once you got past the initial overly dramatic pieces you kind of sank into the story. Of course I'm a big fraidy cat so every time the music would get menacing I would cringe and wait for a monster to pop out. Special effects are great and I'm constantly amazed at the ability of computers and graphics. Tom Cruise attempts to play the tough guy dad but both his character and his true personality fail to totally live up. Dakota Fanning is getting better and better as she gets older. Don't know who played the son but it doesn't really matter as it appears he gets killed off. Anyhoo---I recommend seeing the movie if only for the pure entertainment.

The movie did make me think a little (go figure...ME thinking on a Saturday). All these people are running in fear of the aliens and struggling so hard to stay alive, even as everything and everyone around them are being destroyed. Call it a cop out, but I think if that were happening around me I would just say my goodbyes and let myself go. I mean come on, who wants to live in a planet filled with alien machines, no electricity, no food or water, and all your family & friends dead? At that point it's time to just "go home to see my Maker." Wow, the Southern Fundamentalist in me just came out. Scary. What's even funnier is I'm neither Southern nor Fundamental.

Ok, that' s my review. Go see the movie. But, if big ass alien machines come out of a pothole tonight don't expect to see me trotting down the street. Me and the cat will be dozing in my bed.

My first laptop

Well, I bought my first laptop computer today. I've been shopping around for a long time and finally bite the bullet. I got a Toshiba S325 and it's pretty. :-) Ok, it's not pretty, but it looks like it will be a good one. Damn well better be. I will pick it up in about an hour from the store (having software and junk installed) and then will have the rest of this 4th of July weekend to play with it! Fun! Big purchases scare me but I think this was a good one.

Happy 4th of July! Don't drink & drive.