There was a time when I, Rachel, was the princess, mistress, and controller of my domain. Then, I got a cat. Why is it that cat's think they own everything? Why does a cat think it can sleep, shed, and stretch just anywhere it wants?
I realized tonight that my cat, Aspasia, has very sneakily gained control over me. I should have realized it when she started sleeping on top of my pillow, just above my head. Now, she jumps up on furniture she knows she's not supposed to be on. She walks all over books or papers. She leaves piles of hair (not hairballs) all over clothes, my bed, my shoes, my carpet, wherever....
The worst though---she thinks every glass of water is hers! If I leave a glass of water out she'll knock the damn thing over. I yell, stomp, and threaten to wring her neck but she still does it. And THEN, she has the nerve to bite me when I'm petting her?? There's no pleasing some people.
I want my status as Princess back. I refuse to play ugly stepsister to a cat.
Side note: I just realized that I devoted one whole blog entry to my cat. I've become one of "those" people. I need therapy. Please help.
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Alas, there is no cure. Please report to the nearest detention center to pick up your tattered caftan, filthy house slippers, and the 60 other cats that will cement your place as the neighborhood "crazy cat lady". Also, please include a note in your will that the cats should be spared if they eat you after you die.
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