What's the right response?

I think the vocation of choice here in OKC is sign holder. Seems like everywhere I go there's someone, usually a man, standing on a street corner holding up one of those "hungry, homeless, vetern, need help" signs. I am certainly aware of the plight of the homeless and my awareness is more than just knowledge, it does involve activism. But, I just don't know what to make of/how to react to these folks on the corners? Is it considered a proper response to bring them a sack full of groceries? Wave a dollar bill? Offer tips on where to get food/shelter? Most aren't brazen enough to write "cash only" on their signs and who am I to presume what this person needs or doesn't need? Maybe they do need cash. Maybe they just need gasoline to get out of town. Maybe food is a high priority or maybe they just like to watch the traffic go by. I don't know why this is sticking with me tonight but it is.

A few years ago there was this guy that hung out at NW 39th & Penn with a sign that said, "why lie? I need a beer."

George Carlin hits OKC

My friend Pat and I went to see George Carlin tonight at the Civic Center. He is probably my favorite comedian and though he is crude, he is blunt, straightforward, and funny as hell. However, the show had a little snag. Part way through, the fire alarms start going off. Now, no one got up, no one tried to leave or act concerned--in fact people starting yelling to just ignore it and go on with the show. Uh huh. Turns out it was a false alarm but the system kept triggering so we listened to fire alarms on and off for 45 minutes. Plus, when the alarms go off it cuts the sound system and most of the power. Carlin told a few jokes with no microphone but had to go wait offstage so he wouldn't push his voice.

It was so great to laugh tonight. George Carlin rocks.

Let's talk about Shane!

I'm feeling slightly spunky tonight. I was talking with my dear friend Shane last night and he made some comment about how glad he was that he hasn't been talked about on this blog. Well, of course I just HAVE to talk about him now. He tells me that he only reads my blog when he's bored at work and needs to kill time. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. He and his lovely wife Julie live in Chicago which is too damn far away from me. I've been out there once to see them and really need to go again. They have darling little munchkins who only eat breakfast food because that's all that Daddy will feed them. I swear, every time I talk to Shane and he's making dinner, he's popping waffles or french toast sticks into the microwave. Dude, there's more out there than Aunt Jemima. So.....I met Shane in college when we were both nerdy Religion majors. Back then we used to think that a little dose of Jesus would make the world right. Ha. Oh man, we are both so jaded nowadays! We just look back on those college years and laugh. So, Shane is one of these liberal, progressive, could-be-a-hippie type guys. In fact, he's so liberal that his mom and dad kind of freaked in college b/c he was friends with gay people (shock) and they were afraid he might be gay. He made the mistake of bringing Mom and Dad to church with him one Sunday, a church that has a whole huge crowd of "different" folks and Mom nearly had a heart attack. I think he spent several weeks trying to convince her he was straight. Oh my gosh!! I just figured out why he and Julie had their baby---it was to prove something to his mom! Wow. :-) Yeah, Shane is SOOO going to kill me for this blog but I really don't care. And now for a tender, sentimental moment----Shane has really been there for me over the years. He totally came and held my hand through the funeral of my dear friend Neal. He makes me laugh, he listens to me bitch, and he hates Republicans. I couldn't ask for a better friend. There, sappy moment over. Ok Shane, I'm done talking about you.

Standing up for myself

I did a very hard thing today. For the past 10 months I have been the Chair of what's called the Staff Parish Relations Committee at my church. Basically, I preside over the committee and facilitate any problems or whatever with the church staff, including the pastor. It's a tough position but one I did with a lot of time & effort & to the best of my ability.
There are always people who will never be happy--some people are happier when they are complaining and being miserable. I am SOO not one of those people, but I felt I was becoming a Negativity Queen. I couldn't walk in the church without someone grabbing me to complain about one thing or another. Or, i would get an earful of how I'm not doing my job the right way, or how I could do it better (ie the way the other person wants me to). "Constructive criticism" was NOT the practice but the criticism part was being done well.
A few months ago there were a few people in the church asking for my resignation over a stupid matter. This weekend I received an anonymous letter from someone at church that was very derogatory, mean, and again called for my resignation. I think this was tip of the iceberg for me.
I broke down in church on Sunday because my congregation has become a place of pain and hurt (for me) when it has always been my center of strength and comfort. I knew that it was time for me to resign, in order to save my sanity and my relationship with the church I love. I called my District Superintendent on Monday morning and the church pastor on Monday afternoon. Both conversations were difficult and heart wrenching for me but my DS is so amazing and supportive. After the conversation with the pastor I knew I was making the best decision for me. I don't want anyone else to experience the negativity and personal attacks I've been through as Chair but I just can't do it anymore. I value myself more than that. So, I stood up for myself today and said no more. So be it.

name change

Well, it looks like I will be keeping the kitten i have been fostering. she's been with me for two and a half weeks now and i think it would be too disrupting for her to move again. she and Aspasia are getting along ok. it's not a great relationship yet, but maybe it will be. i'm thinking that once Kitten is declawed it will help. now, about her name......i had originally planned on calling her Malva, which is a name of Greek origin and means "softly, tenderly." perfect for a kitten, right?? well, then my friend Aaron points out that Malva sounds like Mulva, which sounds like Vulva, and i just can't get that out of my head. I am SOOOO not naming my cat after a female body part. no way. so, i believe her name will now be Thea, which is also a Greek-origin name and means "goddess." Yes, i like the Greek origin names. i'm going to have to change my voice mail message and add Thea to it. what's sad is that this house gets more phone calls for Aspasia than phone calls for me. sigh.

sleep? what's that?

I am sooooooooooooooooo tired that i can't go to sleep. don't you hate that?? i am completely on the verge of exhaustion and as soon as i lay down i think of something i need to do so i get up and go do it. i have barely slept this week (though i had good intentions of sleeping) and it has totally caught up with me. i have to go to a silly reception friday night and i totally don't want to go. i haven't found a way to get out of it though. i have Monty Python songs going through my head right now. quite annoying when i want to sleep.

powerless

I hate not having the answers or abilities to solve the world's problems. anyone else have the problem???
my friend Pat is really good about reminding me that sometimes things are out of our control and we are powerless to change another's reality.
i HATE the out-of-control feeling and that's hitting me tonight. i was just reading a friend's web-blog on her journey with cancer and frustrations with insurance denials and sickness. her attitude is SO positive about doing what has to be done but still she runs into walls and barriers with her treatment. i think her strength really calms and heals her family and friends and SHE'S the one who's sick.

so, she just needs to raise about $150,000 for the treatment she needs. drop me a check.

sigh

board meetings

Do you ever feel like you spend your life going to meetings? I get that way sometimes. Feel like I'm running from one place to the next, trying to keep all my "duties" in mind. Yes, I tend to overcommit at times but hey, what's a girl to do? lol.
Tonight I had a meeting of our Cimarron Alliance Foundation board, then a committee meeting of the Oklahoma Holocaust Rememberance Exhibit, then we reconvened Cimarron. Whew. Started at 6 and ended about 10:15. That's just wrong!

The Holocaust project starts next week and I am very excited about it. This group has worked hard and I think it will be a really quality event. You can visit our website at www.cimarronalliance.org

I apologize for any spelling errors and no, I'm not even going to run spell check because I hate the spell check on this blog. My brain is mush.

With that--a goodnight and see ya!

It's a girl (again)!!!

Most everyone knows about my little girl, Aspasia. She's the hairy, four paw, meowing type of child, though she actually doesn't meow. Well, silly ol me told Pets and People (where I got Aspasia) that I would consider fostering other Feline Leukemia cats since mine has it and I know homes for these cats are rare. I got a phone call a couple of weeks ago from a woman who had rescued a kitten who has Fel. Leuk and needed a place to go. My original intent was to just foster her for a while and work on a permanent home but I may just end up keeping her. She's a baby, only 10 weeks old, but appears to be quite healthy and happy. She's a typical kitten--bounce bounce pounce. She loves to boing ONTO Aspasia and batt at her. Aspasia doesn't seem to think it's so grand.....but, they take turns chasing each other through the house and eventually they fall asleep from exhaustion.
So, I have picked out a couple of names but I think I'm going with Malva. It's Greek and means "softly, tenderly." The name isn't set in stone but that's the way I'm leaning.

My friend Aaron laughed when I told him the name because it reminded him of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry couldn't remember his girlfriend's name. She said something about how her named rhymed with a body part so he guessed the name Mulva. My cat's name will NOT be Mulva. lol.

More reports from Cat-Land soon.......................

comfort the afflicted

My job as an HIV/AIDS social worker sometimes means doing what has to be done. my job description is relatively vague and it's kind of hard to put "sit with the dying" on paper and still retain employees.

several months ago i got a new client, a man i'll call Michael, who was very very ill when he was dumped in Oklahoma City by another social service agency that just didn't know how to help him. i remember that Michael hadn't showered in several days, had a huge decubitus on his backside, was an active drug user, had pneumonia, diabetes, and goodness knows what else (on top of AIDS).
i accompanied him to the ER and spent over 10 hours waiting for him to be admitted. we talked some during that time...i knew he had no family in state and didn't want me to try and contact anyone. he said he had two kids but they didn't know about his health condition. he never would give me a name or number of a family member.
he knew he was very sick. he knew that he needed a shower. he knew that his situation was grim. he was calm, polite, and grateful that this hospital was paying attention to him (2 others had barely looked at him). he was admitted and 10 days later he died. i was never able to get an emergency contact person from him. a local funeral home cremated him. there were no services.

every once in a while i get calls from the hospital that treated this gentleman, hoping that i had found a family member or someone to pay his outstanding bills.

on thursday i got a call from Michael's sister and she lives in another state. she and her family (including his parents) had been searching for him for months and by accident were notified that he had died over 7 months ago. she gave me the legal releases i needed and i was able to tell her about what led up to her brother's death. she cried as i recounted the events of those last 10 days of life. she told me of their family and how they were mourning their loss and struggling for answers and for closure.
his family was able to get his remains and give him a proper memorial.

i choked up and cried while finishing my recounting to the sister. until that moment i hadn't realized that i needed that closure too--of knowing that Michael's family knew and that they did indeed love him.

it's funny---i dropped out of the ministry a long time ago only to enter a secular ministry.

sometimes i wonder if God is testing me.

Does it help to be prepared?

Before anyone gets ruffled by the title of the post let me say that this is NOT an attack on anyone about the Hurricane. Instead, it's an invitation to dialogue.

My friends think I'm nuts because I love to study and observe Christian groups out of the mainstream. To me, mainstream includes the Presbyterians (PCUSA), United Methodists, Southern Baptists, Nazarene, Catholic, and a few others. Maybe mainstream is the wrong word....popular? Anyway, I like to learn about Christian groups/faiths that I am not so familiar with.

One group I have studied extensively are the Latter Day Saints, otherwise known as Mormons or the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS). I have not yet read the whole Book of Mormon but I've read enough. I have read many books on the LDS including bits on their history, theology, and place in modern day America. The local missionaries know that I'm not keen on converting but am always up for a good conversation and I'll cook them a decent meal. (Missionaries are practically starved). Anyhoo--one big push of the Church is that all adult Saints should have emergency provisions on hand. They emphasize more than just a few gallons of water and some MRE's....we're talking a year's worth of food and supply storage. It's not uncommon for young married LDS kids to be given a 20 lb barrel of flour for a house warming present. Couples, and singles, are expected to put aside large amounts of money and build their home storage for themselves and their loved ones.
Ok...I can see the need for being prepared in case of national or natural disaster. But, how practical is it to store several MONTHS worth of food/water/provisions? I think about the Louisana people and how they were lucky to even get themselves out. Here's a huge natural disaster and their homes are gone....so what good was that supply of provisions?

I don't bring this up to be argumentative but am more curious as to what an LDS response might be. I don't know if I can get one of my Mormon friends to respond here but if I find out a good answer I'll let you all know. In the meantime, feel free to chime in and comment.