Follow me blindly

I fully realize that this has got to be one of the most boring blogs in the world. Yet, I'm rather ok with that. I'm not forcing anyone to read it and if you had something to say you'd probably post a comment so what the heck, I'll continue the mundane ramblings.
However, tonight I was thinking that it might be interesting for me to do a post, or series of posts, on "a day in the life of Rachel." Hmmm. In fact, it might be rather humbling for me to reveal what really happens in my world and my thought processes. Who knows, you might learn something you never knew about me. Or you may run in fear.
I'm going to keep tossing this idea around. Feel free to vote yay or nay.

No sleep for the wicked

I'm recovering from my latest cold/cough/congestion episode. I haven't been that sick in a long time and I hope it's a while before I am again. My coffee table was just covered in medicine bottles, packets, cough drops, juice, tissues, you name it. It was like having my own little CVS in my living room. Ah yes, Oklahoma now has CVS, which until now I had only seen on the East Coast. Their prices aren't any better than Wal-greens but it gives me some place different to shop.

I'm trying to finish up my admissions statement for my application to OU. It's a silly little requirement but I haven't felt like doing it, so I'm approaching the final hour. It should be easy--it's basically a brag-about-yourself paper, but tie some social work experiences/lessons in with it. Boring.......I have promised myself to have it done by Thursday. We'll see.

And yes, I'm having trouble sleeping. Part of the problem is the cold medicine; it hypes me up and keeps my brain buzzing. Now I understand why meth is made out of Sudafed. Even when I go to bed early, I just lay there (lie there? lay there? oh who cares) and think about all the things I could be doing. So, I get up and next thing you know I'm painting the bathroom. I seem to paint best late at night...go figure. Once I fall asleep I'm fine. It's just getting to sleep that's the problem.

If anyone has suggestions that are non-medication related I'd love to hear them. Please, no counting sheep. I lose my place and have to start over.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Soothing Sunday

I'm behind on my blogging but I was sick all week. I tell you, my body cannot take another cold! I finally started to feel better on Saturday and got out of the house for a little while. I was pretty much back to normal today, Sunday, but didn't try to overdue it. I went to church (like the good kid I am) and we had a really good service. We had an adult baptism so most of the service was centered around that, around the meaning of baptism and being brought into the fold. Our closing hymn was Blessed Assurance, which is probably in my top three of favorite hymns. I love the song not only for the assurance of everlasting grace but also for the reminder of Christ being central in our lives, in everything and in every moment. I won't get started on a mini sermon here....I know you're thinking I'm going to....

Anyhoo....I had a church council meeting late in the afternoon and the rest of the day has been household chores. I'm trying to catch up on laundry, ran to the grocery store, and am vacuuming up cat hair. That last task is never ending. I need to get on the ball and finish my admission statement for OU and get that in the mail. That will be tomorrow's task since I am off for President's Day.

and with that ends this dull excerpt from my dull life. vaya con Dios!

Cough cough sniff round 3

I am on my third cold in three months. This could be a new record. Yesterday I started feeling a little yucky but I chalked it up to allergies because our weather has been shifting drastically. But, when I woke up this morning I barely had a voice and could feel all the drainage in my chest. Blah. There is one good thing about having a cold--my clients are nicer! They hear my scratchy, creaky voice and they feel bad that I'm work when I'm sick, so they tend not to talk long or demand much. Maybe I could fake the voice year round...
I hope that this cold doesn't get much worse because I just don't have the time to take off and stay in bed. I'll down some Nyquil tonight and get some rest, maybe that will help.........

Stay healthy!

Remembering Dad

Today, Sunday Feb 13, is the 15 year anniversary of when my dad died. I actually kind of forgot about it until last night. What strikes me is the 15 year thing---he died when I was 15, now I'm 30, so for as many years as I had him in my life I have also lived without him. He was a good man, far from perfect and slightly odd, but that part doesn't really matter to me. I'm sure my memories are clouded and I dare say that my relationship with him was very different than that of my brothers (as they are considerably older than myself). But, he loved me, I love(d) him, and now that's all that matters.

Miss you dad. You'd be proud of me. I've accomplished a lot and have some great things yet to come. Thanks for the memories.

your only daughter.

I don't need no stinkin windows

When I was at Sam's Club the other day I was approached by one of their salespeople/product pushers, who told me about their window/patio replacement guys. I agreed to have a home estimate done because I do need windows and figured what the hey--I'll see what their price are like. So, Thursday night some guy came over and he was very charming, a true salesman. He wasn't cheesy annoying though, but I could tell he had been doing this a long time. When it finally got done to measuring windows and talking prices I put on my poker face and went with the flow. I have several very large windows in my house and all of them are steel casement, which I understand makes replacement a little more difficult. He tallied up the cost of single hung windows and gave me a quote of: (drumroll please.....) $12,000. I wanted SO badly to laugh and roll my eyes but I didn't. BUT WAIT--because I'm a Sam's Club member and I have all my teeth I get an additional 20% discount or something, so now the price is only $9600. Does this seem excessive to anyone else?? I was like thanks, but that's not going to work for me. He pulled the whole-what's it going to take to get you to buy them tonight-routine and I said lower the price another 3 thousand and we'll talk. Ummm...no.
So, no new windows yet for me but I'm going to continue the search. I do have to say that I actually liked this little sales guy and he really wasn't pushy or annoying, but those prices are just unrealistic. Then again, maybe I am unrealistic in thinking I can get quality windows for $7000. Dunno.
I'm hoping to win at slots when I go to Tunica in April so then I can do all home repair I want. Come on, a girl can dream.....

lyrics

"Sitting with mama alone in her bedroom, she opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand. She said, I have to go now, my time here is over. And with her final word, she tried to help me understand. Mama whispered softly, time will ease your pain. Life’s about changing, nothing ever stays the same And she said, how can I help you to say goodbye? It’s ok to hurt, and it’s ok to cry. Come, let me hold you and I will try. How can I help you to say goodbye?"

missing my mom tonight, not really sure what triggered it. this song came to mind and i had to find the lyrics.
tell someone that you love them.


lyrics by burton banks collins/karen good taylor, How Can I Help You To Say Goodbye as recorded by Patty Loveless

Country roads take me home

sunday afternoon i traveled a bit south to my hometown. it was my niece's 2nd birthday and family and friends gathered to celebrate. it was a cute party and i think she enjoyed pulling the tissue paper out of the bags more than she did the presents. but, isn't it always that way with young kids? the big hit present was a hula-hoop, which Papa John bought. several of the adults tried to hula but it was just a bit small. the birthday girl just nodded her head and shook her booty in imitation. funny!!

i have very mixed emotions about going "home." it hasn't been my home for a long time and though family members are there, the town just doesn't sit right with me. whenever i drive into city limits i get this knot in my stomach, a kind of dread and apprehension. none of the people i grew up with, or at least were close to, live there anymore and maybe that is part of my emotions. i think i also have these mini flashbacks to some not so great experiences in high school, which by no means were regular occurances, but stick out nonetheless. i KNOW that i still have feelings wrapped up in my family relations and i'm not afraid to admit those. (wow, a breakthrough in therapy). this is where my mom lived and died and that still gets to me. i have a very wonderful and loving relationship with my step-family (stepdad, sis, and bro) and now all our family moments are combined with my stepsis & stepbrother's mom, as well as my sister in law's family. it's like everyone has a direct family relation there but me, since my brothers live in another state and my mom and dad are deceased. yet, no one ever makes me feel like an outsider....and i don't feel like an outsider....i think i just long for the people who are not there. i'm not sure that makes sense. hard to find the right words to explain it.
so to sum it all up....had a good day with the family, the whole huge combined family, and even in a crowd it's possible to be alone.

it's going to be a busy week at work so if i don't blog much it's because i've pulled all my hair out and am out shopping for a wig.

Cruisin'

Howdy peoples--well, to all 2 of my readers.
I'm in a rental car for the next few days. My beloved Honda is not behaving quite right so she's going to the dealer on Monday. The "check engine" light has been giving me fits and there is something else wrong, I just can't explain what it is. I am traveling to SW Oklahoma on Sunday for my niece's birthday, so I figured I better have reliable transportation. Soooo....I called a few places and got a good price from Alamo. I'm driving a Chrysler Pacifica at the moment and I'm enjoying it!! The Pacifica is a cross between and SUV and a sedan and I feel so powerful sitting up there, watching the world go by. I wanted to just drive around for hours but there's no built in bathroom in the Pacifica so I cut my journey short. Does that fall under the category of "too much information?"

It was a long and busy week at work. I'm looking forward to some down time on Saturday and playing Chickenfoot with friends on Sat. night.

I'll post another book review in a few days. It's been a while since I've done that and this blog is getting boring. I know you people don't like hearing me babble all the time.

Peace..............

Recommend me!

So, the application for grad school is coming along. All I have left now is my personal statement, which has to cover certain areas put forth by the school. I've started it but can already tell I'm being too wordy so some major editing will have to be done. I doubt I will hear anything until April or May but I can't imagine not getting accepted. Is that arrogant? It's not supposed to be.

I have to have at least 3 letters of recommendation written for me. I have had a hard time deciding who would be the best people for that but I think I've got it covered. One is a former co-worker, who worked with me for 4 years in the program I'm in now. Another is a former college professor who I am still close to. One is a guy who I've worked with in several political organizations/campaigns and the last one is a local elected official that I've done a lot of work with/for. Two women, two men--that's a nice balance, right? I just want to get this all over with and get started in school. I considered buying a degree online but thankfully my ethical standards are just a little bit higher than that. (just a little)

I purposely did not watch the State of the Union tonight. I think it would have been hard to resist the urge to throw popcorn at the t.v. and boo every time Dubya took a breath. Spectators clap too much during the SOTU anyway--gets annoying to hear the roar of skin slapping every few minutes. I'm on a soapbox, I'll sign off now before I say something nasty.

peace.

I had a most interesting experience today and I use the word "interesting" loosely. My step-pappy called and said he was on his way up to OKC to visit the Bass Pro Shop and asked if I would meet him there. I cringed only slightly but decided what the hey....I'd go. Many months ago I had made a solemn vow to never set foot inside the OKC Bass Pro. First of all, what business do I have going there? I'm hardly outdoorsey. Second, I protested B.P. out of principle, considering the back door shenanigans the OK City Council did in loaning them several million to build the place when hundreds of other stores in OKC go bankrupt.
So, we wandered around the store for about an hour and a half. I can tell you that I've never seen so much camoflauge and cowboy boots in my life, and that was just on the customers. I can totally understand why it's a big draw for the hunting/fishing types--indeed they are well stocked. It just is not a Rachel store and of course the world should revolve around me.

In other news...
Actually, there's no other news for today.

Do you like my new hat?

I have always liked Dr. Seuss books. The play on words and rhymes are somehow soothing. The animation is superb as well and that's probably what sticks out in my mind the most. When I was a kid, one book I liked (can't remember the name) had a dog or something that wore crazy hats. The dog would say to someone, "do you like my new hat" and the other person (dog, whatever) would respond, "no, I do not like your new hat." Then they would exchange goodbyes. My mom and I always used to spout that bit of dialogue to one another, but using fake British accents. It still makes me smile to think of it.
A few nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night talking to myself, repeating the whole "do you like my new hat" bit. As my eyes focused and brain stirred, I realized why I was doing this. My cat was sleeping on my head. She likes to sleep at the top of my pillow so if I stir too much I bump into her. I usually sleep with my head at the very bottom of my pillow, so there's plenty of room for Aspasia (the cat) to stretch out. I'm sure she also likes the warmth that radiates from my head because of course my massive brain is working hard, even when I am at rest. HA HA HA HA.
I refer to this as my Cat Hat and I wear it with love. There's nothing quite like the affection of a pet. Even when she sheds hair all over my pillow.

Do you hear what I hear?

Well, the new season of American Idol is off and running. I will admit that I do not watch the actual competition, only the episodes of auditions. Some of those people singing really stink! I know some of them are trying to be bad singers because they think it will get them t.v. time (and it usually does). I generally agree with the judges on their decisions and I don't know how or why they let some people sing for a long time. But anyhoo--that wasn't the purpose of this post....Tonight, I got to thinking about the bad singers who really think they sing well. They all spout something about "well my mama says I sings good" or "my bestest friends made me come up here to be the next Idol." Ummm, yeah. Maybe they are tone deaf. Maybe their friends and family would rather lie to them and watch their loved one humiliate themselves on national television. Maybe singing off key is a new musical trend that I am not aware of. Soooooooo.....I pride myself as a musician. I am a singer, looovveeee to sing but (lately) have been mostly singing for myself and not performing. I usually know when I've hit a wrong note or just not hit a phrase right. I am my own worst critic. But here's the fear I have lurking---what if my friends and family have been being nice to me and letting me THINK I can sing when I really can't. Maybe I'm one of those freaky Idol contestants that I always make fun of. I'd rather people be honest than be polite (when it comes to my vocal abilities). You don't have to be mean about it but if I suck, please tell me.

P.S.--at least one of my brothers will chastise me for using the word "suck" here....it was the only word that adequately conveys my passion. deal with it. *innocent grin*

Apply yourself

I did it--I finally applied for a master's program. Today I sent in my application, $$, and transcripts for the Masters of Social Work program at the University of Oklahoma. It will pain me to be a Sooner, but I suppose there are worse things in life...
It's about time I got a master's degree, since I dropped out of my first one several years ago. I know that in time I'll want a job change (preferably something with more money). I'm also the only child without a graduate degree and there is a bit of pressure from my stepdad to "do something." Ok ok....I just can't decide what I want to be when I grow up. I chose the MSW because I like social work, I'm good at it, and I'm pretty sure I can handle the program. Some other programs were ruled out because they required math, required the GRE, or reading their descriptions put me to sleep. If I get in I'll go part time to classes for two years and then spend my third year in a practicum. I have no idea how I'm going to financially do all this but I'll worry about that later.

Let's just hope I get accepted....stay tuned.....................

For love of a cat

Well, the trip to the vet today was not great. My kitty, Aspasia (which means "welcome" in Greek) has been a little sick lately so we trotted of to the vet this morning. When I adopted Aspasia several months ago I was told her had FIV, which is a feline immunodeficiency virus, different from HIV in humans but similar names. Her having FIV was not an issue for me because I fell in love with her when I met her. I asked the vet to confirm this diagnosis so they did a rapid test and it turns out she does NOT have FIV, she has feline leukemia. This is also an immune suppressing disease but the life expectancy is much shorter. For now she is relatively healthy and happy and I intend to keep her that way. Aspasia is my baby, I love her very much. I pray we have many happy years together.

Right is Wrong

I just don't get it. So much going on in the world today and one of the lead stories is how Dr. James Dobson (Focus on the Family) is criticizing Spongebob Squarepants for allegedly being gay. Ummm, yeah. Priorities. I don't particularly care for Spongebob, mainly because the theme song annoys me. It doesn't help that my co-worker Gaila will sing the theme song for hours on end, but that's another story....But it's a cartoon. Come on people, it's a children's cartoon and there is NO HARM being done. I would suggest to anyone who makes Spongebob the center of their board meeting or daily discussion that they need to prioritize their lives and get back into life.
Link to the article--
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/20/politics/20sponge.html?

Happy Birthday Dynanners

Today is the birthday of my very lovely and funny friend, Dynanners. She's a little bit wild and crazy but in a tame sort of way. When I first met Dynanners, I was cordial and polite and everything but I never expected (or intended) to become good friends with her. I was going through a push-people-away phase in my life. Well, she hung in there, loved me unconditionally, and sure enough, we have grown to be close friends. I think what forms some of the solid basis of our friendship is our willingness to be completely honest with one another. Believe me, if she doesn't like it she will tell you! :-)

Anyway, happy birthday Dynanners and wishes for many wonderful years to come. Thanks for keeping me grounded and real.

True charity

You know, true acts of charity are ones that are done anonymously. If one receives recognition or praise for the act then it is not selfless. I've made a resolution to practice more anonymous acts of charity. Kindness is contagious; if we spread a little joy then maybe others will catch on. So ponder this one--what selfless acts of kindness have you done lately?

A good day

Today was a good day. This is not to imply that most days are bad, because they are not, but today was just a good one and I felt like blogging about it. As is typical for a Sunday, I got up and went to church (can you see the halo over my head?). Our regular pastor was not preaching today, instead, my friend Trina was giving the sermon as one of her steps towards ordination in the United Methodist Church. I've known Trina since college, where she was my Kappa Phi little sister and fellow Religion major. She is a gifted preacher and it was great to hear her today. As an added surprise, several of our college friends were at church to hear and support her as well. Mandy was here from Kansas City, Kristin dropped by, and a few others were around. It was like homecoming or something!

So, after church was our 2nd Annual Chili Cook-Off in which I swept 2nd place. I am quite proud of myself. Of course, it's not really based on who's chili is the best, it's how much $$ is put in their basket. But hey, I'll take 2nd place! :-)

Then, this evening I went out to eat with Mandy and her partner Angela (they were really in town because Angela had guard duty), Kristin, Rachael, Malea, Rana & Kenny....all college folks. We talked, laughed, talked about other college friends, and generally just enjoyed catching up with one another. It was kind of amusing how the talk turned to finding out who's pregnant, who has kids, who wants kids, and who needs to NOT have children. I probably fall under that last category but they were too polite to tell me. Ha.

It was just a good day, spent with dear friends. I'm kind of a sap when it comes to things like this. What's that old Girl Scout song we used to sing? Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. Yeah, that's it.

peace.

I learned something today...

Now, I'm a firm believer that learning is a life long process. We should always be challenging what we know and letting ourselves be open to new ways of thought and practice. Here's what I learned today: don't let my friends Pat and Diana pick a movie. We saw the worst film today, White Noise, with Michael Keaton. I hope I'm not violating some sort of trademark laws by naming the film (and if I am I plead ignorance) but folks, it is a really bad movie. I won't give it away in case you WANT to waste your money and go see it but I'd really advise you not to do it. See, anytime I go to the movies with Pat and Diana and a few more of our friends I always end up hating the movie. It's not rebellion because I didn't get to choose--I just think that the Film Gods are not with us when the decision is being made.

I'm pretty much over my cold (if anyone cares) and I'm making a powerful batch of chili for our church chili cook-off tomorrow. No, I will NOT be sneezing into the chili and I'm an excellent hand washer.

Oh, congrats to my brother, Reverend Dan, for being elected Moderator of his Presbytery. Who wudda thunk it? *wink*

that's all for today kids................