Shane

I hope this font is hurting Shane's eyes. It's supposed to. He complained and complained tonight about the background on my blog...it HURTS his eyes. Oh please. :-) Shane and wifey Julie are counting down the days until baby #3 arrives. They are being mean and won't tell anyone the name. So, I have decided to call him (the baby) Micah. I don't care if it's not his name, that's what I'm calling him. Ok kids, I have nothing witty or fun to say tonight because i'm really sleepy. Goodnight and goodnight.

Tagged

I was tagged by Mandy recently but I'm so behind on my blogging that I'm just now catching up. Sorry! Ok, 8 (or is it 10?) random things about me......
1. I seem to have an addiction to ketchup right now. Like, I don't put it on everything, but when I have it...I use a ton of it. (I know, Trouble is throwing up at the thought of ketchup)

2. I once got to spend a day with Wilma Mankiller, former Chief of the Cherokee Nation. We took a picture at the end of the day and when I saw it I freaked--she and I look SOO much alike. It's my Cherokee heritage.

3. I am slightly obsessive compulsive, especially when it comes to the feel and texture of certain things. I am constantly putting lotion on my hands because I can't stand the feel of dry skin.

4. I absolutely love to vacuum. I really do.

5. I make Rosaries...the prayer bead chains. I am a devout sayer of the Rosary though I am not Catholic.

6. I will not eat iceberg lettuce.

7. I often throw pennies away because they are an annoying piece of currency.

8. oh my goodness I can't think of a last random fact....sorry.

Inner shut down

I spent last weekend in Omaha, NE (yes, Omaha) for a Young Dems meeting. It was a smaller group than normal but that was ok because it was mostly people I like. :-) The bad part was being sick...have had a sinus infection or something for over a week. I finally started on antibiotics on Friday and slowly they are helping. I loaded up with lots o drugs and pushed through the weekend. The highlight was the Saturday night Roast of outgoing president, Chris Gallaway. The people roasting did a great job but NO ONE was safe--we all got blasted in some form or another. I brought poster board and markers and made signs so we could heckle the folks on stage. It was great!! My favorite sign said "NOT FUNNY." It really threw people off. We laughed so hard Saturday night...it was a good time.

This was my last go-round chairing Resolutions. It's been a great appointment for me. During General Session, I presented 5 resolutions, none of them controversial. Then, a member from Texas piped up and freakin ripped me in front of the entire national committee--saying that one of the resolutions wasn't professional and we were being foolish and stupid. I was ticked off, to say the least. After she reamed me, people were like WTF is she talking about?? I spoke to her after the meeting, not so nicely explaining to her the process in which resolutions are written and submitted. I told her if she had a problem with what I was doing then she should have come to the meeting and brought up the issue there. She was all like, oh--I didn't know. Bull. She said she wasn't trying to be critical or anything....uh huh, so that's why she took snotty & condescending tone and attacked ME in front of the national committee? Yeah. Let's see how far that gets her.
Ok...enough raving.

So even though I was soooo sick during the weekend I pushed through it and managed to attend all my meetings. I got home Sunday night and crashed. My body shut down! I slept close to 20 hours on Monday and most of Tuesday as well. I got up to take drugs and drink water and that's about it. I hope to go to work tomorrow because I have major catching up to do.

Matti and I are going back to bed (that's my cat....)
Peace!!

Vibes

I don't keep up with the solar system and full moons and such, but there are some WEIRD freakin vibes in the atmosphere right now. It's making people act differently, strangely, and unusually bitter. I tell ya--if I could have one superpower, it would be a lightening bolt so I could zap people in the ass when they act up. Let me tell you, the bolt would be thrown big time right now! The more and more I'm around people, the more I want to hibernate in a snug little cabin deep in the forests of Maine. Sigh.

Resigned

Hey folks, it's been a few weeks since my last post. I had to get a final paper done for my class then enjoyed a few days of down time. I spent last week in New York visiting my family and showing a friend around NYC. We had a great time (and are thoroughly exhausted). It was SOO good to see my brothers and their families. I needed that.

Anyone remember that saying, "well behaved women rarely make history"? I admit it, I'm a bit of a rebel. I'm outspoken, opinionated, strong willed...somehow, that's a threat to some of the people around me. For the past few years I have served on a local non-profit board. I have always been proud of being a part of this group and I think I did a lot for & with them. However, I didn't agree with the leadership 100% and wasn't willing to be a "Yes" woman. Long story short...last night it was STRONGLY encouraged that I ponder my future with this board and in essence, resign. I did resign, allowing them to save face but also taking a moment to say what I needed to say before cutting the ties. Am I upset? Yes. I have a strong belief in being part of the change I wish to see in the world (another great quote). But, apparently this was not the time or the place to accomplish some of those changes. I wish them well, I really do, and I think in time they will realize exactly how valuable I was. So there. :-)

I've been tagged

Amanda Lucia got me....Yes, I was tagged. This means I get to write a blog posting answering the following:
Six things that make me weird..........Only 6?? Here goes. Number One--My blog program doesn't allow me to hit "enter" to start things on a new line, which is why my sentences and paragraphs tend to all run together. Don't ask why, I don't know why. It just hates me. Number Two: I can't stand the sight of milk trucks. Like, the big semi-rigs going down the highway with "refrigerated" tanks on the back, filled with milk. GROSSES me out more than just about anything. I will only buy milk that comes straight from a dairy farm where they bottle it themselves. Number Three: I am fascinated with studying the Latter Day Saints (AKA Mormons). I read a lot of Mormon history and church related news/articles. Number Four: I think lemon slices in glasses of water is disgusting. I don't know who invented citrus fruit in water but I hate it. I will send the glass of water back. Number Five: I collect tacky Jesus magnets. My favorite is "I found Jesus, He was behind the sofa the whole time!" Number Six: I am mildly obsessive compulsive, mostly when it comes to the texture and feel of things. Like, if I touch the inside of my palm with my finger, I have to touch the other palm in the same manner. Sometimes I can't touch notebook paper because of how it feels. I have to put on lotion before I touch the paper. Yeah, I'm weird, you can go ahead and say it. Ok, so there it is...I was tagged. Thanks, Mandy! Happy almost graduation sweetie!!!

Powerless

I have this wonderful friend, Pat, who is very wise. She often reminds me that there are times when I am powerless and must give *whatever* over to my Higher Power and let it go. Simple advice, yet profound when actually implemented. I struggle with giving over that power at times, certainly when it comes to myself and when it comes to situations I see people in. A few posts back, I mentioned that I had recently learned of a domestic violence situation and that the whole thing bothered me. I learned today that the situation is worse, much worse, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Is it enough to pray for that person? Can it be enough? Will I ACCEPT that what I can do is pray, and what I must do is pray? I am trying to give it over but it's so hard. Pat often reminds me to breathe....God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Sigh....

Is there a point?

Is there a point to this blogging stuff, or am I just talking to hear myself talk?

Let It Be Said

Let It Be Said…..

I was listening to something on the radio today and I heard these words, “Let it be said.” It immediately got me thinking about how words impact and describe a person or a situation.
In the end of the movie And The Band Played On, various clips and pictures are shown on people who have died from AIDS. I don’t remember the man’s name, but one gentleman is shown testifying before Congress on the need for AIDS funding and research. Then, it shows his panel on the AIDS Memorial Quilt which reads “Do not let my epitaph read that I died of red tape.” I get chills every time I recall that image. Let it be said that still in 2007, the red tape constricts and restricts AIDS funding around the world.

I recently learned of a domestic violence situation. The woman being abused is scared, isolated, lonely, and did I mentioned scared? Granted, I just have her side of the story and certainly there may be more to it than meets the eye. Yet, Let it be said that there is no excuse for violence.

Years ago I was a volunteer/team leader for a group of people who provided a “care team” for a person living with AIDS. At one of our team leader meetings, the staff person had us write our own obituary. This was meant for us to get a sense of some of the challenges and emotional activities that face our clients. It was very hard for me to write mine. I was maybe 21 years old, about to graduate college, and had no idea where I was going to end up in a few months. My life was just beginning and I had to write about how it might end. What would my epitaph read? Let it be said that I was a good person, compassionate and loving, that I gave freely to others. Let it be said that I was a good daughter, aunt, sister, friend, and Christian. Let it be said that people were proud to know me.

Words ARE powerful. Actions are powerful as well, especially when the two combine. I have knowledge and power, influence and insight….how do I utilize all these things to make a difference? Let it be said that my life impacted someone, somewhere.

So I ask you, what do you say in response to “Let it be said…”?

Young Dems

Did you folks know I'm involved in politics? No, you didn't?? Well, let me tell you..........LOL
For years I have been a part of the Young Democrats of America. It is probably the best organization I have EVER been a part of. I have gained & learned leadership, developed a sense of political savvy, made some amazing friends, and fueled my own political fires. I have served in a lot of leadership roles in the group, my proudest being the Vice President of Programs a few years ago. But right now, I'm involved in my biggest project: electing David Hardt for President of the Young Democrats of America! (This is where you applaud). David is from Dallas and is a dynamic, hard working person. He asked me to be his campaign manager and it's a task I was honored to take. My role is to help coordinate his campaign, advise him on matters, spread the message of his leadership, and grow his support throughout the nation. In addition, David's team of officers get a lot of help and support from me as well. The website is www.davidforyda.com
Come visit the website and meet this rising star of the Democratic Party. I am SO proud to be working with him and can't wait to see what YDA accomplishes with his leadership.

The Blushing Bride

Congratulations to Jan & Stewart, who married Saturday in Oklahoma City. Jan and I are dear friends, soul sisters in a way, dating back to school & church in Walters. She is what many would describe as the All-American Girl. She's beautiful, I mean physically beautiful, highly intelligent, talented, and incredibly nice. All around, she's good people. My opinion is that men have often been intimidated by her good looks and personality and it's taken her a long time to find that right person. Thank goodness she found him! The wedding was my first time to meet Stewart but I can tell that they are right together. I have never seen her happier.
As I was getting ready for the wedding, I had a moment where I suddenly choked up and cried. I cried because I was so happy for my friend, but I cried for other reasons too. When Jan was in 10th grade, her father unexpectedly died. It was such a blow to her and her family. My mother sang at her dad's funeral. I watched Jan struggle and cope through that loss. A few years later, when I was a sophomore, my father died. Jan helped me through all of that. Those loses made us stronger as friends because we could relate as no one else could. I don't think I would have made it through high school without Jan. Our families have always been connected and if my mother had still been alive, she would have sung The Lord's Prayer at Jan's wedding, I just know it. So, I cried because Jan has found the love of her life, I cried because I am so happy my friend is secure, and I cried for our parents, who brought us together. Don't get me wrong, it was a very very happy day for everyone and the wedding was so elegant and beautiful. I am so thrilled for these two incredible people. God bless Jan and Stewart.

Catching up

I was kiddingly chastised by a friend the other day--she says I don't blog enough for her. Hmm...maybe if people posted comments and engaged in DI A LOGUE I would blog more. So there. LOL.

I can't even begin to tell you all how crazy my world has been lately. Everything is fine, just chaotic. Started back on another class and it's intense. I like the professor and I am really learning. I had heard not so great things about her, but I think people just didn't understand her dry humor. Anyhoo, I like her and I guess that's all that matters.
March is my busiest month of the year as we have to re-certify most of our clients for a federal drug assistance program. So, I have to run around seeing three million clients and filling out paperwork and doing verifications of income. It's nuts! On top of all that, we have had meetings and conferences that take allllllll day, which only takes away from time with the clients. Every March is like this and I have come to dread it. Cimarron Alliance is also consuming a lot more time than I'd like. Don't get me started on Cimarron, I'm not sure how I feel about being a board member right now. The women of the board, all 4 of us, feel fairly disconnected, unheard, unheeded, unappreciated, and disrespected. I can't speak for the other women, but we have had a lot of conversations about how to seek reform. I'm not sure it's possible.

I am still without a cat. I do miss my Aspasia and miss her keeping me company. I have been scouring the shelters and pet stores for the right cat but so far I haven't found him/her. The search continues...

I am hoping to get to NY in April. I want to see the family and I promised my goofy co-worker that we would go. It's soooo much fun to explore NY as a tourist. If anything, getting out of town for a few days would do wonders for my soul.

Alright, back to campaign work. It never ends......

Honesty

I don't remember who coined the "honesty is the best policy phrase" but I wonder how true it really is? Several weeks ago a friend was not honest in recalling a conversation between the two of us and the result has been stressful, to say the least. i was honest, my friend wasn't, yet i was made to look like the bad guy. At least i know the truth and my role in being truthful. You know...sometimes being honest surprises people. Last week I stopped at 7-11 to pick up a bottle of water and a newspaper. when i got in my car and drove to my destination, about 15 blocks away, i realized i had accidently picked up 2 newspapers instead of 1. so, i drove back to 7-11 and gave them back the extra newspaper. i walked in, told the clerk i accidently picked up two. The clerk just stared at me and said "oh. Wow. ok." I didn't think twice about taking back the extra paper--I had only paid for one. Duh. It's a no-brainer for me. Maybe it was just a newspaper but it wasn't mine. I don't know...maybe I am some freak of nature. I always strive to be honest and truthful and trustworthy. Why doesn't everyone else? No, I'm not perfect in my efforts, but at least I try.

Hate Crime Allegations Recanted

I'm really basically sad about this whole situation...Back in November/December, there were two alleged hate based attacks in Ada, Oklahoma. Today, the story broke that the second victim/second incident was a hoax, that the alleged victim confessed to making it all up.
I am sad for Sarah, the alleged victim, for whatever is/was happening in her life that she felt this had to happen. I pray she gets the help she needs.

Spontaneous

I woke up early on Saturday morning. I was having a dream where there were bugs all over me and it was so vivid that I wasn't completely convinced that it didn't happen. After attempting to sleep with the light on, I finally got up. Lately I've been itching to take a vacation and just get away from everything. So, BRILLIANT me decided to take a road trip. I threw some clothes in a bag, grabbed some cd's, and headed out the door. I got on I-40 east and headed to Ft. Smith, Arkansas. It was a pretty decent day out, windy, but the wind was behind me. I had a good drive--windows down, blasting music, singing, and talking to myself. I stopped at an Arkansas visitor's center and picked up brochures on Ft. Smith and Van Buren. I figured I would stay the night and have a leisurely day driving home on Sunday.
Finally about 3:30 I realized I needed to eat lunch so I pulled into a TGIFriday's in Ft. Smith. Now, I realize that I can have Friday's almost anywhere, but I don't trust unknown restaurants in strange cities. I've been to Ft. Smith a few times but I don't know much about the city. After eating, I was really tired and figured I had been in the car long enough. I went to a local hotel to check in and they didn't have a room. I called a few places, no one had rooms. So, what the heck, I got back in the car and drove BACK to Oklahoma City. Stupid. The wind had picked up and it was a huge dust & dirt storm. I was driving against 40-45 mph wind the whole way home. Not one of my brightest moments. I stopped at a few rest stops to walk around and whatever but it was too damn windy to sit outside.
Despite the hard drive home, I had a good day. It was kind of fun to be spontaneous. This might sound weird--but it was good to spend time with myself. I needed some clarity and I found it. Well, at least a little.

Next time I'll take a tent and just go camping.

babies, Lent, and rosaries

Topic One-babies
Seems I'm going to be an Auntie again! It's early, but my brother Doug & his wifey Jean Ann are pg. Yay! This will be #3 for them.

Topic Two: Lent
Lent snuck up on me this year. Was everyone else completely taken aback at how early it is?!? I haven't decided yet what I'm giving up. I was going to give up alcohol but Red Tie Night is coming up and I just CAN'T miss that. :-) I need to do something faith-promoting, like committing to 20 minutes a day of Bible study or whatever. Oh, and I need to call Trina and do my annual "giving you up for Lent" thing. Trina was my Kappa Phi little sister and one year (in college) I was KIDDING when I said I was giving her up for Lent. It kind of stuck and every year I call her to laugh about it.

Topic Three: rosaries
I have been in a rosary making mood lately! I did one for a friend who is converting to Catholicism so she is getting ready to have her first communion and all that jazz. I need to get the rosary in the mail! Anyhoo...I was looking through my beads and realized I had some really beautiful pieces, so I've made about 4 more rosaries in the last week. Indulgences for sale anyone? LOL

I need a vacation. badly. very badly.

Deeply relational

I have started attending a new church, and when I say "new church," I mean it's brand new! The first gathering was last weekend and I went, really not expecting much. Can you believe it--for once, I was wrong! I was intrigued by the pastor and his message of BEING church, not just DOING church. From the website: "We started Mars Hill because every church must ask the question: 'What does it look like for us to be the church here and now'?"
Certainly, this is not the first group or church to ask such a question but it's been a long time since I found a congregation really willing to engage in the process and the conversation. I had coffee with the pastor/leader, Ben, this week and we had a great time talking about ministry and the possibilites for outreach and message in Oklahoma City. Ben was surprised to hear of my job in HIV/AIDS and shared that his message (for today) was going to be on that subject-about reaching the marginalized.
So, tonight we discussed some statistics about HIV/AIDS in the world and in our little area of Oklahoma. I think it was quite sobering for the group to hear how many men, women, and children have perished or are living with the disease. This led to Matthew 25: 34-39, the whole i was hungry and you gave me food, naked and you clothed me, stranger and you welcomed me....One of Ben's points was that "the church" spends so much time debating the rights and wrongs of a lot of issues and people who need OUR care and God's love get pushed aside. If Jesus walked among us today, do you think He would love and care for the person with HIV/AIDS? I bet He would. I hope and pray and believe that He would and that He does. As Christians, we are called to be God's hands in this world--so how do we respond to these lofty issues that separate churches? I wanted to stand up and cheer when Ben acknowledged that we are called to be deeply relational with all of God's children. Who does God's heart ache for--God's heart aches for all who are marginalized, those who are hurting, those who believe and those who don't believe. God's heart is big enough for all of us. Is my heart big enough? Is yours?

My new worship space is www.marshill.tv

burning

This is going to sound completely bizarre, but my toothpaste burns my mouth. I'm a Crest kid (and I'm SOOO not knocking Crest, love the stuff) but the latest tube I'm using is not making my mouth happy. I've always had sensitive teeth and my dentist has given me a special "gentle" toothpaste. Stuff tastes nasty! So, I went back to my favorite brand of Crest. I think this is a baking soda & peroxide and I swear, my tongue and lips burn so badly I practically cry!! Now, most sensible people would switch to a different toothpaste or different flavor, right? Who says I'm sensible? I have continued to use this tube because I hate to waste good paste. Hey, that rhymes! Oh...stay on track Rachel. So I don't want to throw out good toothpaste so stupid me continues to use it. I'm down to about a quarter of a tube so it won't be much longer. I know I will never buy that combination again...I'm sticking to the friendly gel or tartar control.

Must remember to file this post under Random & Complete Waste of Mega-Bytes.

Shiver me timbers!

I just received my monthly bill from the not-so-friendly natural gas company. Now, I know that all you people who are not from Oklahoma think that it's hot and dusty here, but it's not. It's winter and we have real winter weather. It's been dang cold lately (yes, i said dang cold) and so i crank up my heat to keep from freezing. The bill came today and I nearly fell out of my chair. Let's just say that it's high. Round up your pennies and send them my way. If you come to visit, bring your sweaters and blankets because ain't NO heat coming out my vents for awhile.

(my mother is rolling over in heaven because i used the word "ain't." sorry mom)
damn gas company.

Completely hetero!

Wow, the world can breathe a collective sigh of relief. It was reported this week that disgraced evangelical minister, Ted Haggard, is now "completely heterosexual." Whew. I know I'm relieved. Apparently Haggard underwent several weeks of intense counseling with some fellow evangelical ministers. I wonder if this included a laying on of hands? Kinky.

News articles like this make me roll my eyes. I mean, come on....is Haggard going to become the new poster boy for Exodus International? And if he is straight, then good for him. If he's gay/bi/whatever, then I still really don't care. Let's look at the rhetoric and nastiness and judgement he has passed on others because they were gay, or liberal, or normal. Jeez.